"After many years of wondering why I had never had my monthly cycle, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). There wasn’t much that doctors told me other than the rapid weight gain I had experienced being a common symptom, and that insulin resistance was a possibility (years later, I found out that applied to me as well). Being seventeen, already exploding in every way possible, I felt a lot of anger. I felt anger towards my body, for not being able to do what she was literally born to do. I felt anger towards myself, for the inability to love and accept my body for who she is. I felt anger towards all of the friends who told me I was “lucky”. I felt anger towards the Universe, for creating me this way. I felt foreign to my own body. Many days I spent researching the common possibility of infertility in women with PCOS, and what that really looks like. A whole lotta FEAR, for lack of better terms. I saw doctor after doctor, explaining my situation to them and essentially being silenced. Looking back, all I really wanted was for one of them to validate my feelings and help me find a SOLUTION, but I never got that.

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I made the decision to enter Kristen’s world through the Leadership Academy. Nearly three years into my recovery journey, I knew it was the right time. We spent time discussing seasons and cycles, and often making the connection to a woman’s moon cycle. I felt so disconnected from myself in this way, and ultimately BLOCKED as a result. Months later, I attended the certification retreat in California. This experience moved many mountains for me. The veil was lifted, and I felt present in MY body for the first time. I released so many things that I didn’t even know I was still gripping so tightly. I got out of my comfort zone, on multiple occasions, and opened my heart to all of the love within myself that had been covered up for so long. I danced, I cried, I sang, I laughed, I LOVED. I could go on and on about this experience, but words won’t even do it justice.

Fast forward two-ish weeks post-retreat. I’m back at home, and trying my best to adjust and integrate back into my everyday life. About a week into it, I start feeling horrible. Mentally? I felt cloudy, lost, and so unmotivated. Emotionally? I felt angry, sad, and confused. Physically? I felt drained and uncomfortable- I was ready to punch someone in the face at any given moment. I go to work, and halfway through my 9 hour shift, I realized I had STARTED my cycle. The varying emotions flooded my mind. I was confused, happy, pissed... all at the same time.

Moral of the story... A coincidence? Absolutely not. This is my first time getting a period in over two years (and not induced by a pill). And two short weeks after becoming certified in Mermaid Movement, a program DESIGNED to get you out of your head and into your body? Yall. I’m just gonna leave this here. I am constantly amazed by this work, and the miracles that can occur when living life in accordance with your truth. I made the space for my body to do her thing when I LET GO of all of that shit that is no longer mine to carry."

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-Victoria, NOLA